It Takes Two
by Nghi
Summary: (AU) Kagome hates Kikyo. Kikyo hates Kagome. Both love Inuyasha. And Inuyasha is just in love with the strange head executive. A fiction proving that sometimes it takes more than guts to win someone- it takes a team. And maybe several botched up plans.
1. Bitter Enemies

It Takes Two Nghi 

**Genre**: Mystery/Humor

**Pairing**: Hehe. Don't think so.

**Rating**: PG-13. For some gore and stuff, ya know? (Can't pass up the gore.)

**Summary**: (AU) Kagome hates Kikyo. Kikyo hates Kagome. Both love Inuyasha. And Inuyasha is just in love with the strange head executive. A fiction proving that sometimes it takes more than guts to win someone- it takes a team. And maybe several botched up plans. 

**A/N**: LOL. Yes. This is the 'new' idea that has been turning in my head for, oh... about a day now. ^.~ I'm willing to try something original, and then this popped up! I mean, I need to write 'Blood-Stained', but I don't want you guys to think I'm abandoning all hope or anything. ^^ 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Inuyasha. I don't know Miroku. I don't own the series. I don't own the manga production. Heck, I don't think I even own that VCR downstairs.... *nervous laughter*

With all this stuff said, enjoy the chapter!!! ^^

Prologue: Bitter Enemies 

-

            Really!

            I can't (Read: won't.) stand her at all! With the whole, pompous 'I'm-Better-Than-You' attitude, you'd think her ego would swallow her. But no. She still has enough _modesty_ to put on a show about how kind and caring she is to people. Or can be, if she tried. The worst part about this fake mask of hers is that she puts it on at certain times when certain people are around at certain parts of the days. And by now, you should know that I'm not one of those people. But yeah, she reserves the stupid charade for the important groups. The ones on top of her to-do list.

            Namely, a specific black-haired male named after his father's dog. 

            Just thinking about this afternoon's little 'accident' makes me want to scream into my pillow again. Even _I_ thought it was going too far. But apparently, she didn't think so, with that irritating smirk of hers plastered across her face. And just when I was almost done, too!

            Let me go back and add some fleshy details to the events of the afternoon.

            The situation: Me at my desk, stabbing furiously away at the computer. 

            The enemy: The one and only her. 

            The daily target: a financial report that took two months to complete.

            So, here I am, working on the financial report due some time next Wednesday. I wanted to get it over with because 1) it took me two months to write and edit that thing, and 2) I wanted some time to compose myself before talking to my target. No, no, not the daily target, but the personal intimate life target. 

            I'll give you one guess to whom it is.

            But my bladder was against me and my plan, because just then, at the last paragraph, it started doing flip flops. And I mean _crazy_ flip flops. Work was going to let out in 20 minutes, and it doesn't take me long to type a simple, six sentenced paragraph. And I needed to pee really badly, so I figured, 'Hey, what the heck. Make a dash for the toilet while you still can.'

            Bad mistake.

            When I came back, all content and happy and full bladder-free, I took one look at the computer screen, and instant panic mode gripped me.

            The computer was shut off.

            "Shit!" I swore loudly, lunging for the damned, fickle thing. Desperately, I pressed the power button repeatedly, waiting for the computer to reload and reboot. It didn't respond, and I began to fret even more. My _unsaved_ financial report was on the stupid machine, and if I didn't hand it in by Wednesday, I would be doomed by the head executive! "Nooooooooo...." I moaned at the thought of all the rushing and scurrying and late nights I'd have to pull in order to make it by the deadline, slumping to the floor.

            And that's when I saw it.

            The perfect, little plug that was connected to my hard drive was **un**plugged to the power surge. 

            Obviously, the little thing was inside the outlet before I left, so there was only one conclusion: someone deliberately _sabotaged_ me. And the only person who would hate me enough was-

            "Whoa, what happened?" a sweet, sugary voice asked innocently to my left.

            "_Well_, someone pulled the plug from my computer. So now I have to restart my report," I explained through gritted teeth.

            "Oh. You _do_ know the thing is due by next Wednesday, right?"

            "Yeah...."

            "Oodles of luck, then!" And she flitted away, back to her own work.

            End flashback. I can tell you right now that she meant nothing when she wished me luck. Ha! More like, 'Hope you lose all your data in a raging thunderstorm tonight!' luck. The stupid pig... I still can't believe she had the nerve to do something like that. This is so war.

            And so, this explains why I am sitting here at 11:30 at night, scribbling down notes on the fluctuating rise of our company's coffee beans while quietly cursing her.

            I hate Kikyo Ashiko.

-

             I can't stand her at all.

            I know, I know, you're all probably thinking that I am overreacting from a simple emotion, but you don't understand. This isn't some common, irritating ordeal like having split ends. This is much different. She is immature and bratty, wanting this and that and nothing else. She hardly does her own work, and if any slight pressure is laid, she starts to whine. So she had a two-month financial report due. That's hardly anything to gripe about. If you had to do three reports in one week, then it is a different story.

            Although her apparent laziness is very annoying and not needed for the company's future, the thing that always gets under my skin is her attitude. All of it. She yells when she feels like it, she swears when she feels like it, she hollers when she feels like it.... It's all based on how she feels. And frankly, that proves she has no respect or manners. The little twit, thinking she can skip her way to the top of the ladder. It just rubs me the wrong way how she can be so carefree about everything. Her laid-back opinion on work, about how easy it is to run five miles, whatever. Or more personally, to my intense dislike, how easy it is to snag a guy.

            Or namely, a black-haired vice-executive to Boss.

            But still, the greatest fault in that girl is her lack of respect, most definitely.

            Just thinking about today's little 'accident' makes my blood boil. And I start to see red all over again.

            Not sure why I am sulking internally about my doomed fate to be next to the worst neighbor at work? Let me recount today's happy event.

            Here I am, sitting quietly and loyally to my desk, reviewing over some recent accounts to the additional stock papers I have to look over. I am a bit of a workaholic, I'll admit, but there's no such thing as too much work. That is, unless you faint from exhaustion. Then you realize you've gone over the boundaries. 

            So the scenario: me with my red pen, checking or unchecking some quotas, using a calculator to confirm some numbers and such. I was wearing my new, white blouse, which was only used to catch the eye of my target.

            I'll give you one guess to whom that guy is.

            This was no ordinary blouse. This was a 50,000 yen shirt that cost me nearly half a year to save. This was brand new, dry-clean only blouse that only the rich and the famous could afford. And I, a humble company worker, could afford it. 

            Oh yeah, it was big in _my_ book. 

            You can probably tell where this recap is going. And you're right. The little, clumsy ditz comes barreling down the hallway, rivaling that to a stampede of elephants, with a cup of sloshing coffee in her hands. You see, my work area was being particularly evil, as a bundle of cords had poked out noticeably into the walkway. 

            So, let's recall the variables we have so far. 

            Clumsy ditz + jutting bundle of cords = horrible, horrible fate.

            The girl tripped over the cord like any gullible fool, causing the cup of coffee to slip out of her hands. But did it fall onto the ground and soak the floor wet like a normal cup of coffee? Nooooooo. She just _had_ to fling it in my direction, causing the cup to land on top of my lap. Even worse, the coffee was fresh from the pot, meaning it was hot coffee.

            End recap. I can fully say that she had the decency to apologize, but did she mean it? I think not. She did not hand me her piece of napkin- instead, used it as a mop for the floor. For the _floor_, while I was sitting there numbly, trying to make sure my thigh wasn't suffering from a first degree burn.

            She is insane as well as an unorganized elephant. The stupid girl... I declared war on her right then.

            And so, this explains why I am here in my kitchen, half washing my blouse in a vain attempt to rid the ugly brown decor that didn't compliment the white blouse while trying to apply ointment to my singed thigh at 11:30 at night.

            I hate Kagome Higurashi.

**-End Prologue**


	2. The Conflict

It Takes Two Nghi 

**Summary**: (AU) Kagome hates Kikyo. Kikyo hates Kagome. Both love Inuyasha. And Inuyasha is just in love with the strange head executive. A fiction proving that sometimes it takes more than guts to win someone- it takes a team. And maybe several botched up plans.

**A/N**: Made it to the first chapter in a span of... =O 14 hours?!?! ^.^; Well, at least my inspiration is going somewhere.... 

**Disclaimer**: Nope. Check back later. I'll inform you of a change. *laughs*

Chapter 1: The Conflict 

-

            As soon as she stepped through the elevator door and onto her floor, she inhaled deeply. The sound of quiet paper rustling... few, scattered workers working quietly at their desks on whatever needed to be done... the smell of permanent marker in the air....

            This was shaping out to be a good day. 

            Kikyo allowed a tiny smile to grace her usually stoic features. If she ever had to choose her favorite part of the day, it would be right now, at 7 o'clock in the morning.... 

            Well, just the quiet part of the day was the important thing. Even better, though, was the certain, little fact that she wouldn't be appearing for another hour or so, which gave a great delight to her poor, burdened heart. "And I can get some work done, too...."

            The smile widened into a satisfied grin, and she bound forward eagerly towards her desk, her pumps sinking softly into blue, carpeted floor. Humming quietly, she kept her cheerful mood up, even when passing by the Devil's cubicle. 

            Of course, she hadn't expect the Devil to be there himself. Or really, the she-Devil.

            Kikyo stopped mid-stride and turned her head to the right, surprise etched across her face. No, no, no... not now, God...! It was too early... it was too fast... she was having a whiplash!

            She continued to stare at the back of Kagome's head for a moment longer before swallowing hard and opening her mouth. "What are you doing here?" 

            Her rumpled head perked up at the voice... before recognizing where it came from. "Oh... it's you," she replied airily before diverting her attention back to the screen.

            Kagome: 1, Kikyo: 0.

            Kikyo's gaze turned into a heated glare. Stupid girl... although she had to admit rather grudgingly that her ability to pay attention with the head turned away was pretty nifty. Well, as nifty as you can get with an airhead.

            Good mood going... going... (Come back, endorphins!)... gone. A frown marred her face, and Kikyo stomped to her desk, now irritated. She forgot there was another somewhat less satisfying ability Kagome possessed: she could annoy the hell out of anyone. Kikyo sat down on the cushion and sighed once before taking out her signature red pen.

            There goes another happy day.

-

            Evil.... 

            The nerve... the nerve of her. The evil, sadistic, grinning, sonofa-!

            I will stop right there. I refuse to stoop down to her level, where the f-word (Rhymes with muck.) and the s-word (Rhymes with hit.) are common, everyday words. But just to let you know, the arrival of Kagome is an abomination. 

            Never a good thing.

            Why does it sound like I'm ranting? Because I am ranting. And let me tell you what happened... if I can restrain myself from going into a fit of hysterics again.

            OK. The scenario: me with my red pen. I was checking over the last of reports and quotas. This was a big deal for me because I pulled 30 late-nights for this stack. This was a huge part of the company's production, and they wanted it in pronto. Quick. I promised them I would finish by the end of the month, and I never break a promise.

            Well, that is, unless you broke your end of the bargain.

            Yeah, but anyways, here's how the stories went. It would take too long if I went by detail, so here's the bullet. Unless you want the variable version, which is all screwed up and littered with addition signs.

            -9:03 A.M.~ Bathroom.

            -9:20 A.M.~ Came Back.

            -9:25 A.M.~ Looking for the graded stacks of reports. 

            -9:30 A.M.~ Found it in trashcan. Where the paper shredder was. 

            -9:30:01 A.M.~ A period of silence.

            -10:05:35 A.M.~ Faxing room destroyed. 

            By the time I opened the fax door, quite a bit of a line was waiting there, needing a code of number here, faxing some documents there, and shredding some stuff. I smiled, apologized for the ten minute delay, and walked back to my desk. Someone needs to inveset $1500 for several new machines....

            So I guess you could say that the score is pretty much tilted. 

            Kagome: 2, Me: 0.

            I'm going to get that stupid blonde.

-

            Kikyo sat down with a huff on her chair, a scowl evident on her otherwise clear face. She was horrible. Just plain, old horrible. It would be fine if she had trashed her work area. It would be fine if she tepeed the area. Heck, it would have been all right if she stole my favorite red pen! But to shred all those reports....

            Her squishy cow, which was currently being gripped in her hand, mewed pathetically, its eyes popping. She shuddered once, trying to calm her breathing, before slowly releasing the poor animal.... and then hurled it against the wall. 

            30 late nights... she spent it all in vain, trying to grade each financial before passing it in, which was due some 15 days later. She wanted some rest... no, she needed some rest. And now, she had to pull 24/7 for the next two and a half weeks. 

            The thought did not appeal to her senses, and she suddenly felt a sickening lurch in her stomach. This would not bode well with her conscience, and she needed a cup of coffee. In modern Japan, not too many people drank tea once they were in the stock business or the likes. Instead, coffee was the preference. Just this once... something to quell the little, dancing butterflies who were wrestling inside her stomach.

            Standing up, she smoothed back the wrinkles of her plaided skirt before walking towards the floor's cafeteria. Actually, it was something more of a snack bar. It was rather a small room with just a coffee machine to the side of a lonely table. That, and several styrofoam cups. 

            Kikyo would need something rather strong to keep her up for the next 15 days. Sighing, she fumbled for her cell phone in her hand and pressed number 3 on the speed dial. 

            "Hello? Yes... I want to reserve an appointment for a spa treatment two weeks from now...."

-

            Well, what would you know. Fate is a very cruel thing. You know how you wish for something to happen, it just gives you the exact opposite. Like, like, how you wanted a pony for your eighth birthday party, but you got a dingy teddy bear instead? Or how you wanted that hot guy near your locker, but you got a nerdy chess player instead with acne the size of a golf ball?

            Yeah. That kind of fate.

            Well, Fate wasn't particularly leaning on my side today. Instead, it just leaned the other way, probably just to spite me. All I wanted was five minutes of peace and quiet with my black cup of coffee, trying to destress myself until tonight, so I wouldn't fall asleep smack dab in the middle of grading. All I wanted was five minutes. Five minutes of freakin' peace and quiet. I don't care if it was four minutes. Or three. Or two or one, for that mattered. I just wanted at least 20 seconds of solitude to mull over today's happenings.

            Guess Fate thought, 'Woo. Look at the miserable one! Let's make her even more miserable!' and dumped all this across my lap. Hardy-har-har. What a great joke. It deserves a knee-slapper!

            But you guessed it- Fate didn't give it to me. It gave me the opposite- loud and unbearing cruelty. It was Kagome, or more commonly known in my world, she-Devil. The spawn of evil and distress. Married to the scum of the scum (Although she wasn't really married.). Her back was turned to me as I entered, since she was too busy filling up her own cup. 

            I was determined to not talk to evil. It would only tempt me. The mighty Kikyo can restrain herself from starting any verbal spews. I am strong-willed. I am almighty. I am great. I am strong and proud and stubborn. I can hold out!

            "Fancy meeting you here, _Higurashi_."

            One word. Doh!

            But even though I was highly displeased with my lack of restraint, it gave me great, sadistic pleasure to see her startled and jerk her hand. That, in turn, caused some of the coffee to slosh over the rim of cup and onto her skin, and she hissed with pain.

            Sometimes, I wonder if I was dropped on the head from the lack of humor.... But still, it was funny, nonetheless.

            Kagome: 2, Me: 1. All right! Just one more to even out today.

            "Yeah. Wow. Who knew?" she replied sarcastically, sucking her skin. Actually, it came out like, "Bweah. Bwow. Foo nuu?"

            "Hmm. I suppose you're surprised that I'm actually talking to you."

            "I'm surprised you're talking, period." A tick started at my left eyebrow.

            Kagome: 3, Me: 1. I've come to realize that when in doubt, use big words. No, I'm not kidding. If your verbally sparring with a reckless oppponent, the best way to deal with her mouth would be to use big terminology. That way, she would have to take time to try and digest the words. And that would make her look stupid. Yeah. Crafty, eh?

            "Well, I suppose someone as belittling as you wouldn't realize the importance of such a high status as oneself. Namely, me. Ooh, I apologize for my extra corpulence of tremendous terminology. I'm positive your cerebrum can't handle the fact that I, a certified hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalian, am just spouting these bombastic words out in replacement of those tiny, tiny monosyllables you call words." And I smiled really pretty. Sugary, if you will.

            Kagome blinked at me.

            Kagome: 3, Me: 2. 

            "I may not have known all that you just said, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that you're making fun of me," she retorted after a moment. "You're so degrading, you know that?" 

            Hehe... this argument was waiting on open arms. I didn't take debate class for nothing. "Well, I wouldn't be degrading to just anybody. It takes someone with real talent to get under my skin. In other words, a 'special' person, if you know my drift."

            I hoped I was pressing the right button.... "OK!" she replied hotly, her brown eyes searing into mine. "What the hell is your problem? I am so sick of all this bullshit coming out of your mouth!"

            Oh yeah... let's update the score, referee! Then her words hit me. And after that, I saw nothing, heard nothing, and felt nothing from my brain. It was probably fried after that last comment. 

            Yeah. Can you say catfight?

-

            "Excuse me?" she replied back with equal force as her opponent. "What is _my_ problem? What is my problem? _You're_ my problem!"

            "Oh, like we both didn't know that," Kagome snapped. "Why are you always getting on my case?"

            "I wouldn't be on your case if you hadn't been my evil incarnate of an abomination since Day 1, you lazy nincompoop!"

            She opened her mouth to protest, but all that came out was an angry squeak. "Whoa, I didn't know you could be so smart, Kagome," Kikyo mocked. "Tell me- when did they release you from the laboratory?"

            "Well, I'm not so prim I could choke on my ego!"

            "Freak!"

            "Asshole!"

            "You are so infuriating!" Kikyo hollered.

            Screamed: "You are the infuriating one!"

            "I'm not the one who shredded my hard-worked editing in 20 minutes!!!"

            "Are you saying _I_ did it?!?!" Kagome demanded angrily.

            "Yes!"

            "I'm not the one who deleted my hard-worked financial report!!!"

            "Ha! You did shred my stuff!"

            "Ha! You did delete my stuff!"

            At this point, both girls have lost all shred of modesty. Kikyo hiked her skirt up enough to show her mid-thigh and pointed to the bandage. "I'm not the one who spilled hot coffee all over my lap and didn't even give me a napkin!!!"

            Kagome puffed up angrily and stuck out the blistered skin. "Well, you scared me and made me burn my skin! So ha! Did you give me a napkin? I don't think so, Mrs. Righteous!"

            "**_At least I didn't fake any apologies!_**"**__**

****

****"**_At least I didn't lose my sanity!_**"**__**

****

****"**_Oh, I already lost my sanity when you moved next door to me!!!_**" She promptly ducked as several containers of sweeteners came her way. "Where'd you learn how to aim, you blind bat?" And she threw some sweeteners from the other side.

            "**_God, you are the most fucked up person I've ever had the privilege to meet!!!_**"

            "**_And you are the most retarded person I've ever had the privilege to meet!_**"

            Somewhere along the way, Kikyo and Kagome had managed to rotate so that Kagome's back was to the open door leading to the cubicles and Kikyo's was to the coffee pot. Feeling her hands around for something to chuck (Since it really does feel good to release tension.), her hands found the handle of the coffee pot. Without thinking, she threw the entire content at the girl's head. Of course, Kagome ducked....

            And the pot ended up smashing rather clumsily on top of Boss's head.

-

            Oh, dear Lord. Someone help me. I am telling you right now, my face turned the sickest shade of white (Which is quite an amazing feat, since white looks good on everybody.) as the (hot) pot of coffee collided against Boss's head. Fortunately, she-Devil had the decency to look/act uncomfortable, too.

            Both of us just stood there, looking at Boss. And it was then I realized how everyone on the floor was staring at us. Or rather, had been staring at us. Egads, they all witnessed my first breakdown. 

            "_Both of you...._" I heard the quiet voice and looked back at Boss. She was glaring venomously underneath the hot liquid, although her eyes were somewhat dilating. "_I want you in my office. **Now.**_"

            And she proceeded to collapse onto the floor. 

            Oh yeah. End catfight. Start punishment.

            Ooh, this day really, _really_ did not turn out well.

**-End Chapter 1**


	3. The Punishment

**It Takes Two**

_Nghi_

**Summary:** (AU) Kagome hates Kikyo. Kikyo hates Kagome. Both love Inuyasha. And Inuyasha is just in love with the strange head executive. A fiction proving that sometimes it takes more than guts to win someone- it takes a team. And maybe several botched up plans.

**A/N:** It's just churning out, man. All thanks to the snow's aid. MY PLOT BUNNIES. Or I'm just really happy. In that case, enjoy!!! ^^ (Did all my homework last night, so I'm free for karoake! Mom, come back here!) Oh yeah, split this chapter into two. So it will make sense. Want this fiction to be carefree. XD

**Disclaimer:** Um.................................... um.................... Doh. 

**Chapter 2: The Punishment**

-

            Don't you ever want to scream on certain parts of days? Because something didn't turn out right? Because everyone is acting like jacked toasters? Because some experiments just blew up in your face like metal in microwave?

            Yeah. This was one of those days, where I _tried_ to avoid everything that could result in bad consequences... and yet, I still get bad results. It's like this: I welcome all the bad habits, and bad stuff happens. I avoid the bad habits, and bad stuff happens. Hmm... doesn't leave much choice, does it?

            But still... just looking at Boss's body on the floor, not moving, next to the coffee pot shards, with all the hot liquid scathing her face, with her face bleeding and oozing onto the fuzzy blue carpet....

            ACK! I've become some horror movie! 

            Behind me, Spitface (Really renowned for flying saliva when she starts screaming and sputtering.) was motionless, too, just staring at the body. No, correction, the entire floor was staring at the unconscious person, just staring, staring, staring, staring....

            ....

            Well, that was until five minutes later, when Yura, the secretary with a weird fetish for strings, started screaming. "Oh my God! Kaede went down! Call 911! The emergency line! Don't just stand there!" Never mind the fact that she was doing the exact same thing. "**_Do something!_**"

            Then all hell broke loose.

-

            "Is she fine? Will she be OK? How long will it take? Does she need any support? Does she have a concussion? Tell Miss Kaede that we're behind her 100% when she wakes up. Will she need her portfolio for the next time I visit her? Will she be let out of the hospital before March 3? Because we have an extremely important meeting then. Will she-"

            Behind Kagome and Kikyo, several coworkers were demanding answers from a frightened, cornered nurse, as they were worried sick about Boss's health. The rest were going back to whatever they were doing, since the commotion and adrenaline simmered over the period of time. A select few were trying to get a glimpse of the limp body that was being carted into the elevator. But three people, however, were in another distant place, oblivious to everything. Mainly, they were concentrating on the conversation being carried within the group.

            Inside Boss's office.

            The pointy-looking thing that Boss often used for charts slammed on the top of the polished oak desk, and Kagome started at the sharp noise. For someone who was usually placating, Yura was scary when she was angry. Especially with something so sharp in her hands....   
  
            "Do you _know_ how utterly outrageous your behaviors have been?" she began, her eyes searing through both girls. Next to her was Kaede's co-executive, or vice-office-in-training, observing the whole thing with arms crossed. "The entire incident might have _killed_ Kaede off! Then what would you both have done? You would have been sued, it would've been a big mess, the whole company had to find another executive-"

            "Aw, give it a rest," the co-executive cut in rather early with a dismissal nod. "The old hag couldn't have died if I ran her over with a car and threw her off Mt. Fiji. She'd probably climb up the mountain with two broken legs and a severed arm. And then she'd probably kick my ass and have me rolling down the mountain for doing such a thing. So I don't think something as small as this is going to cut off her respiratory system."

            Yura opened her mouth, and closed it again. "What are you saying, Inuyasha? Have some sense! Do you know how dangerous it is with third-degree burns on the head and several glass shards embedded into your skin?!?!"

            "I know that it would hurt for a long hell of a time, but you have to give credit to my aunt. The old fart is 70-something years old, and she's one of the Grand Member Councils of this company," he argued back. "Trust me- it will take a _whole lot more _to kick the hag's fuckin' bucket...."

            The secretary had no comment to Inuyasha's potty-mouthed reply. Instead, she just gaped at him for several moments before returning her attention back to the two (ashamed.) girls. "All right," she growled, "You won't lose your jobs, miraculously, but it will only be courtesy of _him_." And she jerked her head towards the guy sitting impishly next to her. 

            Two different reactions were produced: 1) Kikyo released a humongous sigh of relief and raised her eyes heavenwards, and 2) Kagome burst out laughing from Inuyasha's previous jab at Boss.

            "Well, now that is settled, I guess I should be going back to my work now," Kikyo began, rising from her chair and starting for the door.

            "You know, I think I agree with you for once," Kagome voiced, following suit.

            Neither took as much as two steps before a small word hit them behind with the capacity of a ton of bricks. "But...."

            Kikyo turned around slowly, gulping. 

            Kagome stayed still, gulping.

            "We can't allow this bickering and bantering to continue- it's setting back the pace and causing some of the more important rises in the stocks to be missed. So...."

            Outside Kaede's thin walls, throughout the floor, throughout the whole building, throughout the next two-mile radius....

            Identical anguished screams.

-

            I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this... _dammit_, I don't deserve this... this... horrible and twisted fate! Where did I go wrong?!?! Where did I lead my life off the road? When did I sell my life to the Devil?!?! When? When? **_WHEN?!?!_**

            Oh, the twisted, horrible, terrible, demented, fucked up punishment! My world has crumbled into a meaningless mass, filled with treachery and no hopes of escape from the Goblin Queen. And I, the captive, have no chance of escaping.

            For I will be chained next to her like some poor, helpless bunny! (Think cute, furry, baby bunnies!) I will have no hopes of escaping for the next three, torture-filled months with the Queen of Slime! Queen of Muck! Queen of Trolls!!

            Hideous! Atrocious! _Cruel and unusual punishment_!

            Noooooooooooooo....

            The time it took to confine Boss to a white, nostalgic room: two minutes.

            The time it takes to fulfill 'The Punishment': Three months.

            The time it will take for me to get used to this: Priceless.

            No words. Noooo words.

-

            Kagome glared.

            Kikyo glared.

            Both glared very hard at the wall that had divided between them. This (portable) wall was the only thing separating the two pit bull dogs from each other, separating the two from clawing each other apart like some insignificant chew toy. The wall was also, in a respectable sense, their savior. It saved Kagome the trouble from staring into Spitface's... well, face. And the same for Kikyo. It saved both from the inhumane suffering. It saved both from doom. It saved both from the floor from combusting. Basically, the wall was what separated the two from locking horns and killing everyone within a five-foot radius.

            Well, that was what the wall would have done, if it was still there.

            Kagome found it to be the worst discplinary action ever. Well, next to being handcuffed to the witch's wrist. "You _do_ know it was your fault...."

            "As much as it was your fault," Kikyo retorted, her back facing the girl. 

            She ground her teeth. "Actually, if Kaede hadn't dropped dead on the floor from _someone's_ actions, then I guess we wouldn't be in this predicament, right?"

            Her archnemesis's back stiffened at the continued jab. "Well, haven't you ever stopped your bantering to _think_ that maybe you provoked me with that little pottymouth of yours?"

            "It's can't be _my_ fault...!"

            "Yes, it can. Now leave me alone."

            "No, it can't."

            "Yes, it can."

            "No, it can't."

            "Yes, it can."

            "No, it can't."

            "Yes, it can."

            "No, it can't."

            "Yes, it can."

            "No, it-"

            "Let's make it another month." Yura walked by with a clipboard under her hand.

            Kagome had no choice but to keep her mouth shut. She settled for glaring holes at Spitface's back. She couldn't afford any more fights....

            At this rate, the two could probably be deemed as married for life if this continued.

**-End Chapter 2**


	4. The Quest

**It Takes Two**  
  
  


_Nghi_  
  
  


**Summary:** (AU) Kagome hates Kikyo. Kikyo hates Kagome. Both love Inuyasha. And Inuyasha is just in love with the strange head executive. A fiction proving that sometimes it takes more than guts to win someone- it takes a team. And maybe several botched up plans.

**A/N:** Yikes. Over 2,000 words! I guess it somewhat makes up for the one-month delay of Chapter 3. -___-;; Sorry. Couldn't find time or inspiration to start off the fiction the right way. Hope you like this chapter, though!

**Disclaimer:** Welllll... I DO own this lovely scarf around my neck. So... youcan'thavemyscarfbutyoucanhavethisdingydisclaimer. All right! I got a great deal!

****

**Chapter 3: The Quest**

-

               **_Why?_**

               Why? Why was the only thing angrily echoing throughout my head as I dragged the red felt-tip pen across the paper. For every time my thought wandered to the gluttonous mass behind me, I would edit one word. For every time I would begin to steam up, I would slash at a phrase, and for every time I begin to even _think_ about Yura's backstabbing act, I would angrily scribble an editing phrase at the margin. Die, paper, _die_.

               The 'why' question flitted into my mind again, because I just couldn't understand it. It wasn't my fault! Granted, it was me who had done the evil act of throwing the throbbing coffee pot, but it was not out of spite at Kaede! If I had _not_ been provoked by she-Devil, I would not have committed such a heinous act. It all made sense because it _did_ make sense! Of course, there was always the other choice, the smaller, more miniscule choice that Angel Kikyo had to offer: not have gotten into a scuffle at all. That I should have just turned away and stayed out of harm's reach. That I should have just shut up. That I should have just lost quietly. And to absorb whatever the girl had said. To follow the 'sticks and stones' rule. To remain elusive. Enigmatic. To be the mature one. 

               Like I said, it was all she-Devil's fault, provoking and egging me in such a way that I had no choice to ignore her.

               No comments on my superb reasoning skills.

-

               Yura glanced out of the window overlooking the cubicles. It seemed decent enough, with everyone busy at hand, working nonstop on reports, watching the news, and such for Naraku's Beans Co. Her hands twiddled with a piece of yarn as her red (contact) eyes flickered nervously over at the slightly larger cubicle. "Oh, relax," Inuyasha called from behind her. "You've already given out the choice that if they fight any more, they're going to be housing together. Don't get your pantyhose all in a knot."

               "Oh, shut up," she bit out, glaring at his lax smile. "Your aunt is in the hospital, being treated for major burns and a glass pot _smashed_ over her friggin' head. This isn't World War Pro Three-"

               "It's World Wrestling Three," he interrupted.

               "I don't care what it's called. But the point is that this isn't where anything goes, you know. This is an office, where stocks are being watched over. This is supposed to be a humdrum job, not where catfights break out in the middle of the break room." She finished. 

               Inuyasha blinked at her once. "And your point...?" 

               Yura's eye began to twitch. "The _point_ is, dear Inuyasha," she began, frustration beginning to break through her voice. "That with Kaede knocked out cold, we're going to be doomed for the next three to five weeks. There is abso-fuckin'-lutely no one in this entire floor that is capable of maintaining this position well enough for your aunt to return and resume her work."

               "Hey, what-"

               She cut him off with a contempt snort. "Excuse me, but remember when she gave you lead position over the mailroom? The _mailroom_? You turned the entire thing into a some sort of Irish nightclub. Don't even get me _started_ on this whole 'I-Can-Take-Care-Of-The-Floor' business route. Because it isn't working on me."

               Inuyasha huffed and crossed his arms sulkily. "Feh... bitch."

               Yura chose to ignore that added comment (Because she knew that if she caved, he would have been strangled to death with her piece of string.). Instead, she paced back and forth across the carpeted floor, her forehead creased with worry. "What to do, what to do, what to do.... Ah! I can't do this!" she broke out with an aggravated cry. "I'm a failure! I. Can't. Do. This! It's too hard- I need direction! I need Ms. Kaede to lead my life in order again! My life has been ruined to shambles! I knew it! I'm so incompetent when it comes to work! How will Ms. Kaede ever have trust in me again?" 

               She fell to the floor in a heap with her head buried in her hands and her hair frazzled on ends. "I'm not skilled enough...." Sniff.

               Inuyasha was one of those few businessmen who could never stand women crying. Fortunately, Yura had been a close friend of his for ages, so he knew about her dramatic outbursts from time to time and had grown quite used to them. So he ignored her, likewise with her ignoring his comment. "Idea!" he announced out of the blue. "I have a great idea!"

               Knowingly, his friend stopped crying immediately and lifted her head, blinking at him with surprise. "What?" he challenged. "I'm too dumb for you? Fine. Get over it yourself."

               "No, no, no!" Yura shook her head frantically, scrambling onto her feet and smoothing out her skirt. "OK- hit me with your ideas. I'm _that_ desperate." Poor Inuyasha- Yura could never resist an insult.

               "OK. You know how everyone on this floor is pretty much 'incompetent' to take over my aunt's position for a while, right?" he began, a bit resenting about the 'everyone' part. (Apparently, he believed he was 110% competent with the smarts to back it up.)

               "Yes...."

               He leaned forward, his clasped hands underneath his chin. "Well, I propose we go out into the city and find some people who _are_ competent enough."

               A moment of silence, preferably waiting for an approval. And then-

               "**_WHAT?!?!_**"

               Inuyasha clamped his hands over his ears in an attempt to block out the shrilly scream. "What the _hell_ is that? What kind of idea are you thinking?!?! Have you been injecting something into your systems again? We can't just _go_ out and say 'Oh, you look business-smarts. You're hired for the next three to five weeks'!"

               "And why not?" he demanded.

               "Because one, not everyone is skilled in this area, you know! You need a degree in a university to apply for that job. And two- it's so..." Yura scrunched her nose. "_Barbaric_."

               "Barbaric?" Inuyasha echoed incredulously.

               "Yes. _Barbaric_." she nodded. "It's never going to work."

               "OK, I said we were going to find _competent_ people, not a hobo mooching off WacDonalds' garbage dump. And secondly- we're going to hold interviews. It's not that hard to comprehend, amigo."

               "No."

               "Why not?"

               "It's a bad idea."

               "It's a _great_ idea."

               "Mr. Ego-head, do _you_ not comprendo the fact that these people might be lying to us? What if they stole one of the degrees off a university and forged a signature? Then they made off with the company money?"

               "That's not reasonable- that's just plain stupid thinking."

               "Hey, hey- this is the real world. If we can make fake money, we can certainly make fake certificates. You know, print them off one of those printable sites online."

               "Yura, just think about what you said right there."

               She promptly ignored him. "No! I absolutely _refuse_ to take part in this unhealthy practice."

               Inuyasha glared at her. "This isn't voodoo or some kind of cult. This is strictly finding a person to take over my aunt's job. And either we A) find a person, or B) lose our jobs within two days because the monkeys who are working for us are going to be swinging around the floor. Pick one."

               His friend fidgeted uncomfortably. He knew it wasn't because she had to choose- it was because he was right for once. "Fine," she snapped irately. "Let's go do this thing and get this over with. I don't want to spend the next two weeks finding some person."

               "Hold it."

               "What now?" she asked exasperatedly, turning to face him. It was apparent that Yura was a bit sore after losing to him.

               Inuyasha grinned... something that eerily resembled the Cheshire cat. "Who said anything about _us_ hunting?"

-

               Sometimes, I wonder if Ms. Kaede's nephew and her secretary put us up to this. It must have been some kind of conspiracy. I mean, not only were we _stuck_ together for the next months- which far, _far_ exceeded the time Kaede would be in the hospital-, but we're also forced to do the same projects. Which means that I've been demoted, and she-Devil's been promoted. 

               Father, Mother, I'm so sorry for shamming the family name....

               Speaking of she-Devil, she was glaring at me. For the umpteenth time. I don't know what's really egging her toast, but I'm not doing anything wrong... except maybe I'm also holding the staring contest right back. The first one to blink would lose....

               Oh, let me rewind and tell a bit of what's happening.

               Of course, Yura was one who could never let things down easily. And she decided to pour salt by the pound on top of my fresh wound... by saying we were to search for someone to take Kaede's place. And then she sent us off with forms to go and pass around the city. That was it. End. Finite. The literal instructions from her mouth were, "Search the city to find a person who can hold this floor for the next few weeks." Then she dumped tens upon hundreds of forms that had little checking boxes. Some were very common and normal checkboxes, like "Person must have a bachelor's degree in economics" or "Person must be skilled typist". Others were not so smart. Take these examples:

               "Person must wear old-fashioned kimono clothes at all times."

               "Person must have a chewing habit on pencils." 

               "Person must be skilled in croquet."

               And my personal favorite: "Person must resemble prune." With added wrinkles and pounds, too."

               The forms were fine, although she-Devil was groaning about the entire thing (How hard is it to check boxes?). But what irritated me was how Yura was making us off to the city. _The_ city! She expects _us_ to walk around the flea-infested place, interrogating people about a job and interests! She expects _me_ to trek in three-inch pumps and weave my way in and out of the people, asking random men and women if they would be willing to take over head executive. 

               This was past the point of punishment- this was cruel. Not only do I have the pleasure of sweating inside my snug blouse, but I have to trek with _her_ throughout the city, where probably four different forms of the flu are flying around... in the middle of late spring. This was bound to make a great story when I have grandchildren later on in life.

               OK. Fast forward to present time, where she and I were trying to stare each other down. Feel the electricity, baby.

               "Um... excuse me?"

               We both dropped the match temporarily, since another month would have been hell if Yura ever caught us in a staring contest in an interview. I acknowledged the woman in front of me again, even if I knew it wasn't meant to be- she wouldn't be the next head executive. I know, I sound very prejudiced, but wouldn't you if the girl had on a Playboy tank top?

               'Nuff said.

-

               Kikyo suppressed a groan, barely listening to the Grunge Girl... she had overheard them interrogating the pastry man for the job and soon came bounding over, happy to apply. The interrogation quickly turned sour when G.G. (Grunge Girl) veered off-topic... all within three minutes of the interview. Even Kagome, who had the amazing ability to feign interest in God-knows-what subjects, couldn't hold back the yawn that escaped her mouth.

               "... And then the pelican came swooping down and ate the fish, and I saw that it had a rare species of feathers, so I quickly branded my shotgun and took aim for the rare pelican. The thing is, these things can fly-"

               "OK, that's wonderful," Kikyo stepped in. The story had absolutely nothing to do with executive, and the nonsense had to cease immediately. "Unfortunately, you claim you do not know how to play croquet, correct?"

               G.G. nodded.

               "Then you don't qualify. I'm terribly sorry, ma'am," she apologized tersely before brushing past G.G.. Kagome stayed behind a bit, a look of sympathy crossing her face and directed at the crestfallen girl before reluctantly following Kikyo.

               "That wasn't very nice," Kagome chided, struggling to keep up with Kikyo's long strides. 

               "Oh, it isn't?"

               "Yes. You have a decent head on your shoulders- you should apologize for what you said."

               Kikyo stopped walking and turned to her partner. "Excuse me?"

               "I said, you should go back and apologize."

               "Why would I want to do that?"

               Kagome gritted her teeth. "People have feelings, too, and you were _really_ mean back there."

               "So I suppose I should've kept my mouth shut and listen to her rants then," Kikyo replied evenly, her eyes narrowing. This girl was a complete pushover, and she was trying to insert some of _her_ morals into other people. The nerve....

               "Maybe we should have. It might make the girl feel better," Kagome shot back, her chin jutting out stubbornly.

               "We have things to do. We have places to go. I am not going to stand in one place and listen to the girl's bumbling talk when I could have found that executive by now and finished this."

               "Oh, oh, I get it- we're just going to blow off everyone who talks about things other than Kaede's position. At this rate, we'll probably find someone at the end of the year."

               "Don't approach subjects you have no say in."

               Kagome lifted a pointed finger at her editor. "I can't-"

               "Uh.... Are you two busy? Because I could... kinda... come back later."

**-End Chapter 3**


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